Love Conquers All
by The Muse of Apollo
Summary: AU. Kate Beckett is in love when it all comes crashing down. Can her love and hope for the future be saved? Angst, Romance, Drama. Rated M for Adult Situations, Violence, and Language. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**a.n. I really shouldn't be doing this, but I want to get back into** _ **Castle**_ **so badly so I can finish** _ **A Second Chance**_ **, so I'm starting something fresh. Call it a palate cleanser.**

 **I don't know where this is going, and updates will be sporadic, so who knows where or when we'll end up.**

 **This starts out about a year before Johanna Beckett's murder (9 Jan 1999). Kate and Castle are the same age in this fic (18). They are seniors in High School at the beginning of the story. Also, how much of canon you'll see is TBD. This initial chapter moves very quickly.**

 **On we go!**

 **Disclaimer: Will we see a season 9? I don't know. Either way, I don't own Castle.**

 **xxxx**

 **29 March 1998**

Kate Beckett was having a great day. Her boyfriend had just left her house after a great dinner with Kate and her parents. She and Rick Rodgers had been dating now for three months, and she knew it was time to introduce him to her folks. She had worried about the meeting for weeks, but it had turned out great. They loved him! It made her feel great inside to know for once her mom and dad approved of her choice. She knew if it had been a year before she would have broken up with Rick just because her parents liked him as she had been going through what her mother had termed a 'rebellious streak a mile wide.' Now, however, Kate was a little more grown up.

She was also in love.

She and Rick had been going to school together for years, but hadn't really known each other. She was always the popular pretty rich girl who had a lot of friends. Rick was the son of a single mother who worked hard to support him, but wasn't really around all that much. He had spent much of his youth entrenched in the library, burying himself in books. He had always been known as a loner.

They had finally found each other when Kate had needed help with a chemistry project, and Rick had offered to tutor her. It turned out that they got along famously, and they quickly became friends, and a few months later, Rick had asked her out.

She knew she had fallen hard for him, and she hoped that it was forever. She knew they were still young, but it felt real to her, unlike any of her other relationships throughout high school. The two of them even decided to go to college together, both deciding on Stanford. She was going to study pre-law, while Rick was going to study English Literature with a minor in criminology.

Kate had always been a planner, just like her mom. She had her whole life mapped out from the age of 8 years old. She would get top grades, get into a great college, become a lawyer like her parents, fall in love and have two kids. Rick Rodgers changed that a little when he came into her life. She might only be 18 years old, but she knew from that point on, Rick was now part of her plan.

In just two months they would graduate, and then they would start preparing for California, where they would spend the majority of the next four years. She hadn't really been looking forward to college until she and Rick had started to date. Now she knew she wouldn't be alone. It was going to be awesome.

xxxx

 **29 May 1998**

She had her diploma in one hand and her boyfriend's hand in the other. Now five months in, her relationship with Rick was still going strong. He was everything to her now, and she couldn't imagine a life without him. It scared her a bit how quickly she had become dependent on having him in her life. She worried what would happen if for some reason they broke up.

Kate shook her head clearing her thoughts. Today was a day for happy thoughts. She leaned into Rick's side and posed for another picture.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, kissing her forehead.

"Yeah. Just thinking. Hard to believe it's all over," she replied.

"It's only beginning, at least for us."

She smiled, leaned her head back and kissed him on the lips.

"I love you," Kate said.

"And I love you."

xxxx

 **25 Dec 1998**

They had talked about marriage, but had decided that while they both wanted it, they would wait until they were a couple years older. Kate had surprised herself when she had brought the topic up. Normally a girlfriend would shy away from that less she scare the man away. But like everything else they just talked about it.

She found it so comforting that they could talk through anything. They hardly ever fought, and when they did they talked instead of shouted. They had come back to New York to spend Christmas with her parents, and they were having a good time.

Rick and her mom were currently out in the kitchen preparing dinner, while she and her dad were watching _Home Alone_ on the television.

"So Katie, how are things between you and Rick?" Her dad asked during a commercial.

"Great. I love him a lot, daddy," Kate replied.

"He's a good man, your mom and I are happy for you."

"What about you and mom? Are you still fighting over that big case?"

Jim Beckett was silent for a moment before he said, "Yeah. But we'll be okay. I'm just happy you're here for Christmas."

During their phone calls over the last month, Kate had found out that her mom had been burying herself into some case which her father had disagreed with.

"I'm glad we're here too. Too bad Martha couldn't make it, I know Rick misses her."

"What is she doing now?"

"Something off Broadway," Kate replied. "She changes around so much neither Rick or I can keep up with her."

"Alright, you two, stop gossiping and come get dinner," Johanna Beckett called from the kitchen doorway.

They had a great dinner during which they talked a lot about the last few months. Kate and Rick told the Beckett parents about their classes and how they were enjoying Stanford. Rick talked about the writer's club he had joined, while Kate talked about the study group she had joined.

Kate loved to spend time with her parents, but she could tell that there was tension between her mom and dad. It wasn't the first time they had fought over a case, but this seemed different. When they moved to the living room to open presents, she noticed that her parents sat on opposite ends of the room, well away from each other, when normally they'd sit almost on top of each other. She shared a look with Rick, and she knew he noticed it too.

Something bad was going on, but neither parent was talking. Kate was worried.

xxxx

 **9 January 1999**

Where was she? Kate, Rick and her father were all sitting at a small Italian restaurant waiting for Johanna to meet them after work. The restaurant was garnished in the traditional, yet stereotypical, Italian restaurant garb right down to the red and white checkered tablecloths.

"Do you think we should try to call her?" Rick asked, looking at Jim.

"Let's give her some time, she's been buried in this case for months now, this isn't all that unusual. So you two looking forward to going back to school?"

Kate shrugged. She was looking forward to it, but really it had nothing to do with wanting to go back to her classes. She wanted to be alone with Rick, and away from the tension filled Beckett house. After Christmas dinner, the tension grew even more as Johanna decided to go back to work immediately instead of staying home to celebrate the holidays with her family. Rick and Kate, who were staying in the guestroom, had overheard the fight that had followed that decision. Kate had never heard her parents fight like that. So she was looking forward to getting away from it.

Everything about it bothered her. Not only were her parents having problems, but it made Kate doubt her choice of following them into law. She didn't want to sacrifice her future with Rick for anything, not even her career. It worried her that her parents, who she knew loved each other, could fight so bad. Would that be her and Rick in twenty years? She hoped not. It break her heart to know that something as trivial as work came between them. She vowed to never let that happen. She loved him too much.

The trio waited another 45 minutes before they decided to go back to the Beckett home. It was obvious to everyone that Johanna Beckett had forgot about their family dinner.

When they got home, they found a police cruiser in the driveway. Kate had a really bad feeling about flowing through her. Rick, who sat beside her in the backseat, grabbed her hand, obviously sensing the same thing.

Kate somehow knew that no matter how hard she tried, whatever happened to them in the next few hours would change her carefully scripted plan forever.

xxxx

 **a.n.2. Reviews please.**


	2. Chapter 2

**a.n. Thanks so much for the reviews, favs, and follows! You're all awesome.**

 **I know the structure of this story is different than my usual story. It moves fast. At least for now, I don't feel the need to cover every single minute of their day. Hence the use of the date above each section.**

 **WARNING: Violent Abuse, Alcoholism and Suicidal Thoughts are seen and discussed in this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: Do not, no sir, do not own Castle. Of if only wishing made it so.**

 **xxxx**

 **10 January 1999 4:24AM ET**

 _I love you, Katie. Your Daddy loves you. We'll always love you. It's going to be okay._

Her mother had told her that over and over again when she was little. Every time something had gone wrong for little Katie Beckett, Johanna would remind her that both her parents loved her. Now her mother was gone. Stabbed in an alleyway and left for dead. Kate, who couldn't even think about sleep, curled up with her head resting on Rick's chest and quietly let the tears flow for what must have been the hundredth time since Detective Raglan had told them the tragic news.

"Shh…Kate, it's going to be okay. I'm here for you," Rick said softly. He'd been amazing. He'd held her through the entire night, and just simply stayed with her. He knew what she needed. He always did.

"What am I going to do, Rick?" she sobbed, her shoulders shaking.

"I know it's hard right now, Kate. But we'll get through this. Your mom loved you. Your dad loves you and needs you. I love you and need you. You will not go through this alone. I promised always, remember?" She nodded. "I meant it. No matter how hard a road we have to travel, we'll do it together."

"Together."

xxxx

 **20 January 1999 6:33PM ET**

In her nineteen years of life, Kate Beckett had never been this miserable. They had just gotten back from burying her mother. Her mom was gone forever. Even though it had been 10 days since that terrible night, she still couldn't believe it. She knew she could have never made it through the planning of the funeral without Richard Rodgers. He'd been her rock. He'd taken it upon himself to do as much of the work as possible, and when he couldn't he held her up and made sure she got it done.

She had sent him to his mom's apartment after the funeral. While she appreciated everything he'd done for her, she wanted to spend some time alone with her dad. Of course, Rick had understood. He simply told her to call if she needed him, and kissed her.

Kate shook herself out of her thoughts and walked up the stairs to the study where her father had disappeared after they had returned home. She knocked on the door, and called out, "Dad?"

Not getting any answer, she pushed the door open and froze at the sight that met her gaze. Her dad was sitting on the floor, his back to the oak desk that was centered in the room, with a bottle of scotch in each hand, one of them midway to his mouth.

Kate scowled. Her dad had always been a bit of a drinker, but this was ridiculous.

"Dad," she called out again, keeping her voice soft. She was unprepared for the anger that graced his face when he looked up at her.

She was equally unprepared for the words that came out of his mouth.

"I hate that you look like her."

"What?" Kate asked, tears forming in her eyes.

"You look like her. I hate it." He put the bottle in his left hand down and pressed his palm harshly into his eye socket. "Just go away, please. I…can't stand to see you. All I see is her."

Letting out a sob, Kate turned her back on him and walked out of the room. Before she closed the door she heard the sound of a glass shattering against the wall. How could he say that to her? Didn't he realize that he was the only family she had left? Didn't he understand that she needed him?

She walked into her room and collapsed onto her bed, sobbing and wishing for her mom to come and comfort her. She only cried harder when she realized that that would never happen again.

She needed Rick.

xxxx

 **30 January 1999 1:30PM ET**

Kate staggered against the wall as his fist hit her in the side of the head. Nothing she said would make him stop, and she was too dizzy to get away.

"Why can't you just leave me alone!" He shouted as he punched her again. Kate groaned in pain. Never did she think her father could do this. He'd always loved her, always treated her like a princess. How could he do this?

Finally exhausting himself, Jim Beckett slumped down to the floor and glared at her. Kate had walked into his office and found him oiling his handgun which he had bought several years earlier for protection. She instinctively knew what he was planning, and she couldn't allow it. It had been 10 days since they had buried Johanna, and Kate had watched day after day as Jim Beckett fell deeper and deeper into the bottle. She'd been staying in the house to make sure he didn't so anything stupid, and yet it had still happened. Rick had been visiting, but Kate didn't want to get him too involved so she had told him to go back his flat.

After confronting father, Kate realized her mistake. He had punched her in the stomach the proceeded to beat the shit out of her.

Kate pulled herself up so she was standing as straight, or at least as straight as she could with several broken ribs and other assorted injuries.

Without saying another word Kate staggered out the door, out of the house, and into her car. She needed Rick badly. She just hoped she could make it before she lost consciousness.

xxxx

 **30 January 1999 2:05PM ET**

When Rick opened the door, Kate fell into his arms.

"Kate! What happened?"

"Dad…" was all she got out before the darkness claimed her.

xxxx

 **a.n.2. I know it's short. All the chapters in this story will be between 800-1500 words long because of the style I'm writing in.**

 **Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**a.n. Thanks so much for the reviews and faves! Really happy with the response to this story. This one has just as many time jumps as the previous two, and is also short.**

 **Disclaimer: No. Just no, okay?**

 **xxxx**

 **30 January 1999 7:46PM ET**

When Kate woke up, she knew right away that she was in a hospital room. No place on earth is as bright as a hospital room. Groaning, she tried to sit up, but she felt a hand hold her down.

"Stay laying down, Kate. I'll get the nurse and get you some water," Rick said. Squinting she took a look at him and could see the worry on his face.

After drinking the water the nurse had brought in, Kate fell back to sleep. She hurt all over, but the pain meds were so good.

xxxx

 **31 January 1999 4:23AM ET**

When she woke up again it was several hours later and she was alone in her room. A glance at the clock showed that it was way past visiting hours, which would explain Rick's absence. She was still in pain, but it seemed more manageable now than it had the previous time she had awoken.

The silence in the room allowed her thoughts to drift to how she had come to be in the hospital. Her father had never been violent, even on those occasions where he had gotten drunk. It was why she had been so surprised that he had started in on her, so surprised in fact, that she couldn't even think of defending herself.

In the last two weeks her whole world had fallen in on itself. Her mother had been stabbed and left for dead in an alleyway, her father had taken to the bottom of a bottle like he had always lived there, and then he had suddenly become abusive because she reminded him too much of her mother.

It left her confused, hurt and grief stricken. She didn't know what to do next. She should be at Stanford right now learning and having a good time with Rick and their new friends. Instead she found herself confined to a hospital bed after being beaten up by her own father.

Everything was so messed up.

xxxx

 **28 March 1999**

She had healed properly and with Rick's help the world was at least no longer spinning the wrong direction. She knew she wouldn't have made it this far without him. He had even gotten her dad into a rehab center, despite the old man's protests. It had only cost Rick two black eyes, but in the end he had gotten Jim Beckett to go. He had even taken up his old job again to help pay for it, which she knew was something he didn't want to do.

They had decided that they would transfer to NYU for the fall so that they could both find work here in the city, and stay close to their family. Kate didn't know what she wanted to do, but she couldn't even fathom studying pre-law again. On the entrance application she had applied for the Russian Literature department, which was so far away from pre-law it had surprised both her and Rick.

The last two months had been hard. They were living in the small apartment Rick had grown up in, and were sharing with his mother. Luckily Martha was hardly ever around, so it wasn't that cramped. They talked about finding their own place, but both were at a loss as to how to pay for it. Rick was working full time as an assistant at the local library, and now that she was all healed, she would be finding employment as well. Even then, finding living space in the Big Apple was hard on a small budget.

Given that, they both decided to wait until the fall and use student housing, which while inconvenient, would at least be a little cheaper.

xxxx

 **14 April 1999**

They'd had a fight. A big one. She knew it was all her fault. She'd been irritable for the last two weeks, and had taken it out on Rick. He'd been wonderful, and was working very hard making money to send her father to rehab, but she was treating him like shit.

It had started innocently enough. They had been talking about their plans for the future, and Rick was excited about writing his first novel, which was something he had been working on for as long as they'd been dating.

His excitement was annoying. She knew she hadn't been the happiest person around, but her mother had _died_. She didn't know how to be happy any more, and it pissed her off that he could still be happy when she wasn't. How dare he?

That had led to their biggest fight, and it was over _nothing._ Nothing at all. She had stormed out after saying things she didn't mean and things that wouldn't be easy to take back. She felt like crap. Nothing was going right. It felt wrong to make plans for the future, plans that she had always wanted, when her mother wasn't there to see it. And now she was taking her frustration and grief out on the one person who would always be there for her.

Or at least she hoped he would be. If she kept treating him like crap, she wasn't so sure he would be.

xxxx

 **15 April 1999 6:30PM ET**

She had slept at her father's house that night, or at least she had tried. She had tossed and turned, and all she could think about was how much she had hurt the one person in her life that still loved her. She could still see the hurt on his face when she had yelled at him to stop being happy. She could see the pain when she told him that his writing, that his future, didn't mean anything to her. How could she do that to someone she loved so dearly?

She floated through the day on autopilot. She felt lost, adrift in a sea of uncertainty, grief, and depression. Something had to change. Somehow she had to be better. Or she was going to lose him, and she couldn't live with that. She couldn't.

xxxx

 **a.n.2. Yes, sort it is. I promise they won't break up. I don't think that's really giving anything away. You knew this wasn't going to go easy on her. No one would deal with that without some sort of break down, and Kate is no different.**

 **Please leave a review. Until next week.**


	4. Chapter 4

**a.n. Thanks so much for the reviews and favorites! I can't express how much I enjoy reading your words.**

 **I'm terrified of posting this chapter. This is my first attempt at smut. It'll probably suck. It isn't a huge part of the chapter, and it isn't even really a full sex scene. If it offends, I'm sorry.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

 **xxxx**

 **20 April 1999 12:55PM ET**

She had been a coward for almost a week. Even knowing that she would have to be the one to fix them; even knowing that she would be devastated if their relationship ended, it had taken her a week to get her courage together to face Rick again.

Now she stood in front of the apartment they had been sharing with his mother, and drew her courage again when she knocked.

When Rick opened the door moments later, Kate held her breath. How would he receive her? Would he break up with her for good? She deserved it if he did. How could she have done this?

"Kate?"

Kate wasn't able to hold back her tears any longer and threw herself into his arms, whispering "I'm sorry, so sorry," over and over again.

"Oh, Kate, it's okay…it's okay," Rick said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into the apartment. Kate shook her head, because it wasn't okay. It wasn't okay to hurt him simply because she was having problems in her life, not when he had done so much for her, not when he was the only one in her life that loved her.

"I love you," she said, pulling back, tears still running down her cheeks. "I love you, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things, Rick. I didn't. I never meant to hurt you, but I'm messed up, everything is going wrong and I just…she's gone, Rick," she was wailing now, "she's gone, and I don't…what do I do now?"

"You live, Kate. For her. She would have wanted you to be happy and live your life. Wherever you go now, you love and live, and honor her every day. You be extraordinary."

Kate looked up at him through her lashes in wonder. She loved him so much. Without thought she leaned up and crashed her lips into his, immediately running her tongue over the seam of his mouth, demanding access, which he granted. Groaning at the sensation, Kate wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer, her whole body tingling at the nearness of him.

Neither of them were conscious of their feet leading them towards his bedroom, neither thinking about anything other than each other as their hands started to remove the other's clothing.

By the time they reached his bedroom, both were naked, and breathing heavily. Kate moaned as Rick trailed kisses down her jaw and onto her neck, finding her pulse. He gently laid her back onto the bed and continued his trek down her body until she felt him press his face into the heat of her wet center.

"Rick!" She shouted as she felt him surround her clit with his mouth. The pleasure that flowed through her was enhanced by the knowledge that she loved him more than life itself, and that she would be better for him. He had said that she needed to live for her mother. He was wrong. She would live and love for him.

xxxx

 **01 July 1999**

Things had gotten better for Kate after her fight with Rick in April. She had started to see a therapist, who had helped her get over her depression. She had spent hours and hours talking with both her therapist and Rick about her future and where she should go and what she should do.

In the end, the therapist convinced her that she needed closure. Kate was, the more she thought about it, incensed that the NYPD had closed her mother's case so quickly. Gang violence is what they called it, then moved on. It didn't feel right to her, and the more she thought about it, the less it seemed like the real reason her mom was murdered.

That realization led to a decision. After talking about it with Rick, she contacted the student counseling service at NYU, and changed her major from Russian Lit to Criminal Justice.

She would join the NYPD and work towards becoming a detective. She didn't know if she would ever find answers for herself, but finding them for others appealed to her. Rick supported her and told her that while he would worry about her, if being a cop was what called to her, he would be supportive.

The NYPD wouldn't know what hit it.

xxxx

 **12 August 1999 5:30PM ET**

Kate and Rick were out celebrating. Rick had finished his first novel, and had submitted it to three different publishers. Kate was so proud of him. The two of them had grown closer since April, and she knew without a doubt that no matter what happened in the future, she would be okay because he would be at her side.

They would go back to school at the end of August, and she would begin her journey towards becoming a cop. Rick would be a world famous author, and they would live a wonderful life together.

"If you get your first one published, Rick, what are you going to write about next," Kate asked him as they were finishing off their main course.

"I have a few ideas…" Rick said. The two of them talked the rest of the evening, both happy to be together.

When they got back to the apartment they shared with Martha, they found a message on the answering machine that would change Kate's life forever.

"Ms. Beckett? This is Dr. Johnson at the Northbridge Rehabilitation Center, and we need you to call us back as soon as possible regarding an emergency with your father Jim Beckett."

xxxx

 **a.n.2. Oh, no! What happened to Jim now? Guess you'll just have to wait and see. Also, we see the seeds of Kate's obsession planted in this chapter. How will Rick's presence in her life change that?**

 **Leave a review if you like it!**

 **Until next week.**


	5. Chapter 5

**a.n. First off, WARNING: This chapter contains trigger words. Not saying which ones as it would give it away.**

 **Second, thanks all for the reviews, favorites and follows. Amazing. The lot of you.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, quite obviously.  
**

**xxxx**

 **12 August 1999 8:30PM ET**

The rehab center that Jim had been place into back in March was top of the line. They had been paying for it with Rick's wages from his library job and with a small loan from Kate's aunt. The doctor, who they had phoned immediately after getting the message, had refused to give them any information on the phone, and had insisted that they drive to the center, which was located in New Jersey.

So they had changed into more casual clothes (they had been dressed up for their dinner), got into Rick's car, an old beat up Ford Mustang, and headed for the outskirts of the city.

When they had arrived at the Rehab center, they found the doctor who had called them and followed him to his office. Kate could see on the doctor's face that something was seriously wrong.

"Doctor, is my father okay?" Kate asked, impatient. She had a really bad feeling about whatever was going on.

"Take a seat," the doctor said as he slid behind his desk and sat in his high back leather office chair. Kate looked over at Rick nervously before she sat in one of the chairs facing the doctor's desk.

"Unfortunately, I do not have good news. Your father attempted suicide last evening, and we've had to admit him into the local hospital."

"Oh, God, is he going to be okay?" Kate asked. Her worry for her father had been put on the back burner after had had beaten her so badly and then been admitted into the rehab facility. She'd tried to put thoughts of him behind a wall because they hurt to think about. Now she felt guilty for trying to move on and be happy while he was still apparently having problems.

"The last update on him was worrying. I have the information about where you can find him and his attending physician written here," he passed them a yellow post-it note. "If or when he's back to normal," the doctor said, "we won't be able to take him back at this facility. We were very lucky that we found him before it was too late for him. As he is likely to continue with these suicidal tendencies if he survives this attempt, I suggest a much higher security organization. I have several that I think would suit him, all of them have the ability to put him under watch to prevent something like this happening again." He handed Kate a sheet of paper which she took with shaking hands.

Despite him causing her so much pain, she couldn't even fathom losing him so soon after losing her mom. She didn't know what she would do if her dad left her behind. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she grasped Rick's hand, thanked the doctor, then walked out of the rehab facility, on her way to see her father. She hoped it wasn't for the last time.

xxxx

 **13 August 1999 4:46AM ET New York City**

Kate lay in Rick's arms, her head laying on his bare chest, thinking about how sometimes life just sucked so bad. She had only just got her relationship with Rick back on track after their fight, and had been spending several months just trying to get better. She had been seeing her therapist regularly and had made a plan for her future.

Now her father had passed away after committing suicide. They had made it to the hospital just in time for her to say goodbye to the man who had raised her. No matter how much pain her father had caused her since her mother had died, she still loved him dearly.

Now he was gone. It had taken all of Rick's strength to hold her up when her dad had taken his last breath. She had nearly collapsed as her body was overtaken by sobs and denials.

It had taken hours for her to calm down enough for her to be taken home. Rick had brought her straight to bed and cuddled with her, just holding her and promising that it would be okay. She knew, however, that he was wrong.

How could it ever be okay again? Her mom was dead. Her dad was dead. What did she have left? How much more heartbreak could she stand before it ended her? Would Rick leave her too? She couldn't even imagine what would happen if he were taken away from her. It would break her beyond repair.

She would have to guard her heart if she didn't want that to happen. She would build her walls, and make sure that when Rick was taken away from her, it wouldn't hurt so bad.

xxxx

 **26 September 1999**

She could see the pain she was causing him, and it hurt her to know she was doing it on purpose. She didn't want to hurt him.

Since her father had died, Kate had withdrawn into herself, just as she had planned. After the funeral, Kate even withheld physical contact with Rick. She could see the pain in his eyes every time he tried to take her hand only to have it pulled away before he could grasp it.

She loved him, she truly did, but she felt she had to protect herself. She was being selfish, she knew it, but the deaths of her parents had broken her. Shattered her, really. Protecting herself from further damage was a natural instinct that she had little control over.

They had started school a week after her dad's funeral, and that had helped keep her mind off everything that had happened around her. It also kept her busy enough that she could avoid Rick as much as possible. They had separate dorm rooms, so they didn't see each other often. When Rick sought her out, she would pretend to be busy with class work or some other task.

She was hurting him. But it was for the best. She was broken. She didn't want to break him too.

xxxx

 **30 September 1999 5:30PM ET NYU**

"Kate, we need to talk," Rick said when she reluctantly let him into her dorm room.

Sighing, she flopped down on her bed, then pointed at her desk chair, where she had been sitting when he had knocked on the door.

"Why do you hate me?" Rick asked softly.

Kate snapped her head up, looking at him, her eyes wide. How could he think she hated him? _How could he not_ , a small voice asked in her head. _You've been ignoring him for almost two months. You've stopped acting like you love him, or even want to know him let alone date him. So how could he not think you hate him?_

"I don't hate you, Rick! I could…I would never be able to hate you."

"Then why? I know you've went through tough times, Kate. I know that. I've done my absolute best to be there for you, to love you, and to make sure you got through each obstacle, but you're pushing me away. If you…if you don't want to be with me anymore, or whatever, you should tell me. I don't want to leave you, and I will not rush you, but I feel like I lose a little more of you each time I see you, and I can't stand it."

Crying now, Kate stood up, walked over to where he was sitting, and sat in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck, letting the tears fall. "I'm sorry, Rick, I'm so sorry. I…I just don't know how to deal with this. I felt like I was losing everything, that everything was being taken away from me, so I tried to close myself off. I couldn't handle the thought of being hurt again. I could see how you were being hurt, but it felt like I was on autopilot. I…I love you. Please forgive me," she sobbed.

Rick sighed and wrapped her in a loving embrace. Kate felt a warmth spreading through her that had been missing for almost two months. She couldn't believe how much she missed being in his arms again.

"You need to go back to Dr. Burke, Kate. He'll help. I'll go with you if you want for some sessions. We'll get better together. I know you're hurt and feel broken. But let me put you back together. I love you so much. Please don't push me away again. I couldn't handle it."

Kate lifted her head off his shoulder and kissed him softly. "I promise. I promise. And you're right. I should go back to Dr. Burke."

They sat there in silence for several minutes, enjoying the contact that they both had missed since her father's funeral. Kate vowed to herself to never let anything come between them again. She wouldn't lose him. She couldn't. She loved him, and that was all there was to it.

xxxx

 **a.n. A little longer than normal, but not much. I'm trying to take aspects of Kate's character and still fit them in, while looking at ways for Rick to effect those behaviors that were so engrained into Kate by the time we saw her in Season 1. She's not out of the woods yet, by any means. She is going to struggle while getting her life back on track, and will hurt Rick again. But she will get better, and Rick will help her.**

 **Next chapter we'll see a session with Dr. Burke, a time jump getting us closer to canon, and my angstiest moment yet. Stay tuned.**

 **Until next time.**


	6. Chapter 6

**a.n. Sorry for the long wait. This has been a hectic month. Getting married is a lot of work it seems. Even after the wedding. Thank you all for your patience.**

 **This is short. And didn't turn out anything like I thought it would. There is no time jump, as the angsty moment I envisioned didn't happen. Instead something worse happened. WARNING: Trigger words ahead. Again. Though different from the last one.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

 **xxxx**

 **20 December 1999 4:30PM ET NYC**

"Have you told him yet?" Dr. Burke asked kindly.

Kate shook her head, letting her hair obscure her face so that the doctor couldn't see her tears. As she had promised Rick, she had started to see Dr. Burke again in October. She'd had thrice weekly appointments, and if she were honest with herself, they had helped. She knew she had needed the help, badly. She had done it for Rick. She loved him.

Now she was keeping a secret, and only Dr. Burke knew about it. He had been prompting her to tell the truth for almost a month now, but she just couldn't bring herself to tell Rick. It was too hard. Though she knew she would eventually be unable to keep this secret.

"Let me ask you this, Kate. Why are you scared of telling him?"

Kate looked up and met the doctor's gaze. "It might ruin his life! I couldn't do that to him! I can't. He has been there through everything, my mom, my dad, my depression. EVERYTHING! Now this. How can I ask him to give up his life for this? I'm going to be a cop! I can't be a mother!" She broke down sobbing, unable to continue.

She had found out in early November that she was pregnant. It had shocked her because she had always been so careful when it came to birth control. Now she was going to have a baby in the midst of the shitheap that had become her life. She'd been struggling with her decision for almost a month now, and she couldn't see any way out of the situation.

"Don't you think he deserves to make that decision himself? Don't you think he should be able to choose whether or not to stand by you again?"

Kate groaned, "Of course he does. I…I just don't want him to hate me."

"I think, from how you've described him that he could never hate you. If he's stuck with you through so much, it is unlikely he'd leave now that you're having his baby. Don't you think?"

She didn't know how to answer that. She didn't. Rick had three more years of college left, just like her. He wanted to be an author. He had submitted his first book in August, and it was really good. Could he still be the world famous author he wanted to be and help her raise a child?

Could she still get justice for her mother and raise a kid? She knew that being a cop was dangerous. She knew that and had accepted it as a necessary risk. She wanted answers and becoming a cop and then a detective would help her get them. But what if she died on the job? How could she leave a child without a parent?

She didn't have the answers. But she was running out of time.

xxxx

 **09 January 2000**

A year. Her mother had been gone for a year. Kate couldn't fathom how the time had passed. So much had happened, and most of it was bad. She'd lost her mom, then her father, and now she expected she would lose Rick as well.

She still hadn't told him about the pregnancy, and she was starting to have a hard time concealing it from him. Her appetite was ginormous, she ate like a cow, and she knew he had noticed. She knew he had noticed how she had been distant physically with him for the last few weeks. She had to tell him. She HAD to.

So she decided that she'd do it on the anniversary of her mother's death. She figured if the day was going to suck anyways, she might as well get it over with.

"Rick," she said from where she sat at the desk in his dorm room.

Rick looked up from the book he was reading and smiled at her, "Yeah?"

"We need to talk."

Rick laughed. "Okay. But you do know that phrase inspires fear in the hearts of men, right?"

Kate grinned. No matter the situation, he could bring humor to it. She loved that. She loved him. "Yes, I know." Sobering up she stood then walked over to where he sat on his bed. She plopped herself on his lap after removing the book he had rested there. This had become their preferred position for hard discussions. She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes, before gathering her courage and saying, "I'm pregnant."

Silence.

After a few beats he whispered, "really?"

Kate buried her face in his neck and nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks. Kate didn't see the smile that lit up his face.

"Is that why you've been keeping your distance for the last month?" She nodded again. "How long have you known?"

"Since November, I'm about 11 weeks along," she whimpered, knowing he'd be mad at her for keeping this secret. She knew this discussion was going to get a lot worse.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared about your reaction. And…"

"You shouldn't have been," he said, interrupting her, he lifted her face up with a finger under her chin then captured her lips in a soft kiss.

He pulled back when he realized she wasn't kissing him back.

She hated to bring him back down to Earth, but she wasn't as happy about it as he was. "Rick, I don't know if I want to keep it. Rick, I…I think I want an abortion."

xxxx

 **a.n.2. Really bad cliffie. But I feel like the conversation they're going to have needs its own chapter. Please leave me a review. I'll try to get back to a weekly update schedule.**


	7. Chapter 7

**a.n. I've yet again been accused of liking angst way too much. Guilty. I would think that by now if you've been reading my stories that you'd know that I like me some angst. If you don't like that, then don't read. Very simple, really.**

 **We don't get to see Angry!Castle very often. This is my version of that. Also, I have my own views on abortion, and I'm sure you have yours. I'm also sure that unless you've ever been in the situation where you would consider having one, you have no real idea what it means to even consider the possibility. The rest of us are having a philosophical debate on right vs. wrong, while women who do have to go down that route are actually living it. The content of this chapter is NOT meant in any way to be social commentary on such an important issue. Please don't make the reviews on this chapter about that.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Obviously.**

 **xxxx**

 **09 January 2000**

Kate stood up from her seat on his lap when she saw the look on his face. She knew he was going to hate her for what she had said. She'd been questioning her decision for weeks now. Did she want to be a mother? Could she be? Everything in her told her that at this point in her life she could never be a proper mother. She just didn't have it in her. She _knew_ that. Just like she knew that it would likely mean the end of the best relationship she could ever imagine having.

Rick stood up as well and started to pace the small room, the anger radiating off of him in waves. "Why?" he finally asked through gritted teeth. "Why do you want to kill our child?"

"Rick, I-"

"No, Kate. No excuses. I know that this wasn't planned. I know that it's a shock and a surprise, but it's a life. More importantly it is a life WE created. How can you want to take that away?"

"I'm not ready to be a mother!" Kate screamed, angry that he couldn't see this from her perspective. "I just lost both my parents. My whole life changed the night my mother died, Rick! Can't you see that? I had a plan. It was simple. I'd go to law school, be a lawyer, fall in love and have a family, just like my mom. It's all I ever dreamed of. When she died that dream ended.

"It turned into a nightmare! My dad drank himself to suicide, and nothing, not one thing can bring either of them back! But I want answers. I want to know why my mom was killed. I can't do that and help you raise a child! It wouldn't be fair to the child. It wouldn't be fair to you! I can't be a cop and have kids. There would always be that chance that I might not come home.

"On top of that I'm in no mental state to even consider having a baby. I'm broken Rick. I'm barely holding on to my sanity here. It's a daily fight just to get out of bed, let alone do anything so important as raise a kid. I just can't. Don't you understand that? I…" Kate trailed off, tears flowing down her cheeks. She hung her head, not able to look at him. She knew that she was hurting him, that this decision wasn't what he wanted. She knew that he had always wanted to be a father. They had talked about it before her life had turned upside down. She had even agreed that children would be a great thing for them to have someday.

Now… She couldn't do it. Everything had changed. Her actions had been all over the place since her mother had died. She knew she was depressed. Even with _months_ of working with a shrink, she still felt like the world was spinning in the wrong direction. Nothing had been consistent, nothing good since her mom had died. She had even come close to ruining the only good thing she had left, her relationship with Rick, more than once. It was only his forgiving and loyal nature and his promise of _always_ that kept him at her side. She knew that that promise was likely to be broken because of her decision to not have the baby. Even Rick would have his limits, and she feared that this would be it.

Rick had turned to look at her while she ranted. The look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know. He was done. He was done with her, and she knew it. Before he could react, she grabbed her purse and bolted for the door. Just as she reached to open the door, a hand closed around her wrist.

"Don't. Don't just run away from this Kate. Don't do that to me. We need to talk about this if we're going to get through it. And you don't get to run away. If you walk out that door, we're done. Do you understand?" He said this calmly, but looking back she could see the anger swirling in his eyes. Behind that anger, she could see the pain she had caused him, and it broke her heart knowing that she had put that there.

"What does it matter, we're over anyways! I can see it in your eyes, Rick! I…" She tried to get him to let go of her arm, but he held it firmly. "Let me go!"

"No! Dammit! I won't!" He screamed, then pulled her back towards his desk. He pushed her forcefully into the chair then stood in front of her to keep her from leaving. "I will not let this go Kate, not until I've had my say. You're right, this may very well be the end of us. It might be. But that isn't a guaranteed outcome until you walk out this door and do something you'll regret for the rest of your life. You and I Kate have been lucky," he said, kneeling down in front of her, grasping her hands gently, "We've been blessed with love. I knew the minute you sat down next to me and asked for Chemistry help that we had a connection.

"I know you're hurting. I know it. I've been here for you through it all. I've watched as the joy and happiness has faded from your eyes. You have no idea how much it has hurt me to see you go through this, and know that there is nothing I can do to ease your pain. But your life isn't over, Kate. Your life doesn't have a single purpose. You are meant to do more than just be a cop and solve your mother's murder. That isn't what your mom would want, and you know it.

"She would want you to live. She would want you to settle down and create the life she always wanted you to have. If you do this. If you decide to choose your new obsession over the life of your child, our child, you will never be able to have that life that you always planned for. I'll be gone. And you'll be gone too, because there is _no_ coming back from this decision." Rick took a deep breath, tears running down his cheeks as he spoke to her. "I love you, Kate. You know I do. And I'm pretty sure that before your mom died, you loved me too. I hope you still do. I hope that you can see past your pain and the hardships you've went through and see that I'm right here, and that we can get through anything as long as we do it together. I…just please…don't kill our baby."

Kate sat watching him as tears flowed down both their faces. In a small part of her mind, she knew he was right. She wanted him to be right. She wanted to have the hope that they could get through this; that she would be okay, and that they could have this baby and be a family. She wanted that to be true. Badly…so badly did she want to tell him that she believed in their ability to get through this, and be happy. But she didn't. She didn't believe. She knew that they couldn't. It wasn't because of him. It was _her._ It was her who was breaking them, who was ruining their future that they both had so desperately wanted.

It was always her. If she hadn't scheduled that dinner for her parents a year before, her mom might still have been alive. If she had been there for her father, if she could have been strong enough to get him out of the bottle, he might not have killed himself. If only…if only. If only she weren't pregnant, she might not be walking out on the love of her life.

"I'm so, so sorry, Rick," she said as she pulled away from him, grabbed her purse again, and walked out of his dorm room, certain that she would never see him again.

xxxx

 **a.n.2. Okay, the next two or three chapters are going to be some dark times in Caskett land. This isn't something that they are going to get through easily. But once they do, it'll get better and they will move on.**

 **We're about six chapters or so away from the ending I think. Please let me know what you think of this one.**


	8. Chapter 8

**a.n. I debated a change in POV here, but decided to stick with Kate. Thanks everyone for the reviews! I know that Kate isn't very popular, but give the girl a break. She's lost both parents in a year, on murdered, on via suicide. That'd mess anyone up.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

 **12 January 2000**

Kate walked out of her last class of the day dazed. It had been three almost four days since she had walked out on Rick. Three days off almost constant emotional torture. She couldn't even imagine if she felt this bad, how Rick was feeling. She had broken the one thing in her life that she was sure would last forever.

She was brought out of her misery when someone's hand caught her by the elbow.

"Kate." She knew that voice. She turned to find Rick standing there, a look of determination on his handsome face.

"Rick? What are you doing here?"

"Have you done it yet?" She knew what he was talking about. Of course she did.

"N-no. My appointment isn't until next week."

The relief on his face was plain for her to see, and it broke he heart even more, knowing that she had already made her decision.

"Do you have time? I want to show you something."

She nodded numbly, not quite sure what she should do. On one hand she was so happy to see him, so happy he hadn't given up. On the other, she felt heartbroken that he would be hurt yet again.

Rick grabbed her hand and started walking down the sidewalk towards her dorm building. However instead of going there, he led her a few blocks away to a small park.

Kids ranging from very small two year olds to slightly older and mature children played on the park's many options. Kate watched for a while before she turned to Rick.

"Rick? What are we doing here?"

"I want you to see what you'll be missing," he said simply, tugging her hand and leading her to a small bench that overlooked the playground. "If you go through with your plan, both of us will miss out on this. Just sit and watch."

Though she knew what he was hoping for, she complied. She knew it wouldn't change her mind. However, after just a few minutes her imagination started to show her very unwelcome images. In her mind's eye, Kate found herself seeing herself and Rick playing with a beautiful little girl, with chestnut colored hair and beautiful blue eyes. She watched as her imagined family happily ran around the playground, playing tag, laughing and enjoying each other's company. She watched as she knelt down and picked her little girl up, and hugged her tightly while running her hands through the little girl's long hair.

She hastily brushed away the tears that had formed on her cheeks and looked to Rick, who was watching her silently.

"Do you think you can give that up?" He asked, as if knowing what her mind had conjured for her. She had been so sure about her decision. She had known she condemned herself to a life of solitude and emptiness. It felt to her that she deserved that particular fate. Her mom and dad were gone; how dare _she_ live her own life?

But…

Her mom would want her to live her life. Kate rocked back and slumped against the back of the bench they were sitting on as the truth hit her like a truck. If she failed at life, she failed her mother. She _had_ to live life, or she would forever be a failure in her mom's eyes.

Before she could answer Rick's question, he continued while looking back to the happy children playing on the swing sets and slides, "When I was a kid, I used to pray at night that my dad would show up. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, and she did as well as she could, but she just wasn't there, you know? Add to the fact that I didn't make any friends, and it was a pretty crappy childhood. The thing is though, I've never wished that I hadn't been born. Even knowing how hard it was to grow up in a one parent household, I would never wish for it to have never happened.

"So…if you really don't think you can raise our child with me, at least let me do it. Please?"

She sat there for several minutes, just thinking. Her thoughts were muddled, but one thing was clear to her: she had made the wrong choice. She just hoped it wasn't too late to correct it.

"No."

Rick looked at her, surprised. "No?"

"No," she said again, stronger this time. "No. We'll do it together. I was wrong, Rick. I…I'm so screwed up, so broken. But you're right. If I missed this," she said, indicating the children playing happily in front of her, "I'd never forgive myself. So…If you can forgive me, we'll do it together."

With that she finally let the tears flow and collapsed into his chest, sobbing for the life she now knew she wanted desperately to live. When Rick wrapped his arms around her, she knew they would be okay. They'd do it together. Always.

xxxx

 **28 March 2000**

It had taken them time. Looking back, Kate was ashamed at how she had almost lost Rick and their baby. Now that she was only a couple months away from giving birth, she knew she had come so close to losing everything.

After she had apologized and broken down that day at the playground, they had worked their way back to each other. Kate would be forever grateful for Rick having the patience to put up with her. She had upped her therapy sessions to three times a week, and had worked to be better. And she was. She would always miss her parents, but her epiphany on the bench that cold January morning would be one she would hold onto for the rest of her life. She would live for her parents. She'd make them proud of her. She had to.

They had leased an apartment near campus to share using funds she had gained from her mom and dad's life insurance. They had slowly made it a home that both could enjoy, and she was happy to be living with Rick again. Slowly she was working her way back to the happy young woman she had been before that fateful January night a year before.

In February, Rick had come back to the apartment with a huge smile on his face. His first novel had finally been accepted by a publisher after being rejected several times over the past nine months. She could still see how happy he was at finally having " _In a Hail of Bullets"_ published. The book would be published under his Nom de Plum, Richard Castle, and would be released in 2001. She was so happy for him.

That was the night he proposed to her. At first she was going to say no. She didn't want to be one of those women who married only because she had gotten herself with child. But then she reconsidered. The joy on his face when she said yes would be something she would remember for the rest of her life. For the first time since her mother had died, the hope and happiness she felt had outweighed the grief and despair that had plagued her life.

The month since his proposal had gone quickly. They had decided that they wanted to be married quickly. The ceremony was simple yet perfect. His mom and Kate's friend Maddison were the only two guests, but Kate was happy with how it went. The look on Rick's face when she had walked down the aisle was worth every ounce of pain she had ever felt. She loved this man, and she would for the rest of her life.

xxxx

 **7 July 2000 9:40PM ET New York City Presbyterian Hospital**

The pain was unbelievable. How had women survived this? Moreover, why would any woman agree to do this more than once? As she pushed, Kate swore that she would never, ever forget her birth control again.

"One more, Kate," the doctor said from where she sat at the end of the bed.

 _One more? ONE MORE?_ Kate pushed, but decided that she would get revenge on that evil bitch someday. One more, bah.

"You're doing great, Kate," Rick said as he held her hand. She could see the look of pain on his face, and was viciously glad for it. She knew she had to have broken at least one of his fingers.

When the crying finally started, Kate was exhausted, in pain, but extremely happy. When the doctor finally placed her little girl into her arms, she knew it was all worth it. She looked up at her husband while holding onto her little girl's hand and smiled. "I love you, Rick."

He looked down at her from where he perched on the side of her bed, and smiled back. "I love you too."

Kate looked down at her child and was so glad that she had went through with it. The pain, the emotional strife, was all worth it. She had known love all her life. Her mom and dad had loved her, and she had loved them. Rick loved her and she loved him just as much. But never in her life had she felt love like this. The love she had for this child would forever overshadow anything else in her life, and make it all worthwhile.

She smiled at the little girl. She looked back at Rick and said, "So what should we call her? And, no babe, we're not calling her any variation of Cosmo."

Rick laughed. "How about Alexis? Alexis Castle." Rick had officially changed his last name from Rodgers to Castle, and she had taken that name as well when they had married.

"Alexis," Kate said softly, looking down at the little girl. "I like it."

Together the new parents sat and watched their little girl. Kate smiled as Alexis grabbed a strand of her hair. Life was good.

xxxx

 **a.n.2. yeah, my attempt at fluff probably sucked. I know I said six chapters last time, but I don't know if it's going to get that far. I had planned on dragging the abortion plot a little further, but it just didn't fit. I had also planned on some angst surrounding the proposal, but again, it just didn't happen. If you have something you'd like to see between now and canon, let me know. Not sure how far into canon I'll go before the end. Reviews Please!**


	9. Chapter 9

**a.n. Is it sad that we're all happy Castle got cancelled? Thank goodness they actually did it. Now we might get a happy-ish ending instead of the tragedy it might have been. I figured that this would be best posted right alongside the series finale.**

 **Anyways. This chapter skips a lot of time from beginning to end. Oh. And this is also the last chapter.**

 **I know this story sucked. I'm sorry about that.**

 **I'm also playing around with the timeframe. Somehow in canon, Kate managed to get a degree, go to the NYPD Police Academy, move from an officer to a detective, and work to Detective First Grade between January 1999 and March 2009 when she 'met' Castle. I'm going to go along with that, but I think that's very quick.**

 **xxxx**

 **8 June 2003**

NYPD Officer Kate Beckett sighed as she took off her shoes after closing the door of her apartment behind her. It had been a long first day on the job, and now she just wanted to soak in a warm bath then curl under her husband's arm while watching their three-year-old daughter play with her alphabet blocks.

After giving birth to Alexis, Kate dedicated herself to living life to the fullest. In addition to raising her young daughter with Rick, she finished her associate's degree in Criminal Justice, and started at the police academy. While she had done a good job of putting her quest for justice behind her, she still liked the prospect of getting justice for the victims of violent crimes. She had managed to graduate from the academy a year earlier than normal, and had just started her stint as a NYPD Officer assigned to Vice.

"Hey, Kate," she heard from the right. She looked and saw her husband and daughter in the kitchen covered in what appeared to be flour. Smiling to herself, but putting on a stern expression, she walked closer to them and took a look at the kitchen. It was a mess.

"What are you doing, Rick?"

"It wasn't me," Castle said pouting. "It was all the little monster. We wanted to make cookies for you for your first day, but it got a little messy."

The smile breaking out on her face was inevitable, no matter how much she wanted to be stern. Rick was a fantastic father, never complaining about her long hours or anything to do with her dreams; always supporting her. He stayed at home with Alexis, writing best sellers when he was able, and making sure Alexis had the best childhood he could offer her. Kate couldn't have possibly been prouder of her husband than she was when he got his first multi-book contract after his first book became uber successful. She loved his writing, just like she always had, and hoped his career could continue after killing off his Storm character.

Seeing her smile, Rick leaned over the counter and kissed her, managing to smear flour onto her face as well.

"Hey, look Alexis! We all match now!" Rick pointed out gleefully. Kate groaned, and scurried away from the kitchen counter before the two loves of her life could ruin her uniform or goodness forbid get flour anywhere near her holster and pistol.

"I'll get you guys back for that," she shouted over her shoulder, making Rick laugh and Alexis giggle.

Life was far from perfect, but it she was happy.

xxxx

 **9 March 2009 – 10 March 2009**

Never in her now six years on the Force did she think she would be bringing her husband into the 12th precinct to answer questions regarding murders based on his fictional murders. But it had happened. He had left Alexis at the loft with Martha (who had moved in with them after being swindled out of her life savings), and had come into the precinct. Kate couldn't to the questioning herself, but watched as Esposito put her husband through the normal (at least for this situation) questions.

She was worried. Even though Rick put on a brave face, and often tried to make light of the most serious situations, she knew that someone murdering people with scenarios he had created would hurt him badly. She knew he'd feel responsible.

What she hadn't expected was for him to work the case alongside her. In a way, she was excited to finally work with her love. On the other hand, her job was dangerous. It was bad enough she went to work every day, always taking a risk of not coming home to Alexis. She didn't want Rick to take that same chance.

However, she knew how the case must be affecting him, so said nothing when he got permission from Montgomery to work the case with them.

When they found Kyle Cabot, Kate thought that she had their man, and had sent Rick home to spend time with Alexis.

The argument they had when she got home, while not their first, was very loud.

"Of course he's our guy, Castle!" Kate yelled, "The evidence is all there. Trust me, this is _my_ job, not yours."

Rick was silent for several moments, then said, "Fine. If you want to send an innocent man to prison, do it. Hell if I care!" Then he walked out of the kitchen (where they had been arguing) and up the stairs, where Alexis was watching them with wide, fearful eyes.

"Come on pumpkin, we'll get you tucked back in," Kate heard before Rick guided their little girl back to her bedroom.

xxxx

 **11 March 2009**

He had been right. But it didn't matter. Sure they had apologized to each other after a night apart, but it didn't matter.

She had grudgingly took a look at the evidence again, and concluded that she needed to dig deeper. Rick's parting comment the night before had hurt, and she knew she'd never forgive herself if he was right and she could have done something about it.

They had talked to Jonathan Tisdale, and then Allyson's brother Harrison, which had led to the current situation, where Kate knew her whole life could change.

Rick had chased after Tisdale after the man had alluded them in his apartment, and was just now being held at gunpoint by the person they now knew was a murderer of at least three people, including his own sister. Kate knew that in the next few minutes, if Tisdale pulled the trigger, she could lose everything. Her mind flashed to how her life had seemed to be over after the deaths of her parents, how the only reason she had survived was the man now only a small finger movement away from death. It took everything she had not to collapse to her knees and beg Tisdale not to take Rick away from her.

The next few moments were a blur for her, but she managed to put the cuffs on the bad guy before she tackled Rick to the ground, and started to punch him in the chest. She felt his arms going around her, as he pulled her closer to him, allowing her to bury herself into his chest and let lose the sobs that had been threatening to break loose since she had entered the alley.

"I could have lost you, you idiot!" She sobbed. "Don't you ever scare me like that again."

They held each other for several minutes until Kate finally got herself under control. "I love you, Rick. I…I can't lose you."

"I know, Kate, and I love you too. I'm sorry."

She smiled then kissed him softly. She could never stay mad at him. Though she would revise her thoughts on that the next morning when he told her he wanted to shadow her for research. It'd take him a week before she allowed him back into their bedroom, and even that hadn't disabused him of the idea.

xxxx

Over the course of the next eight years, many things would change for Kate and Richard Castle. For Kate, she would continue her career as an NYPD Homicide Detective. During that time, she would face many harrowing encounters with death. Luckily her husband, and partner, was right there beside her. They faced serial killers, freezers, bombs, and many other things that would turn most people's hair gray. While she had fought hard to keep Rick out of the NYPD Consultancy Program, she was happy to be his partner in all things. She did her absolute best every single day to make sure they both made it home.

The bomb that had torn through the loft in 2010 was perhaps their scariest moment, as Alexis had nearly been killed. Kate's personal horror came true in 2011 when Rick took a bullet for her at the funeral of her precinct captain. He had barely survived. It was that event that caused her to finally put her mother's case behind her for good. She would never again put her family in danger, no matter how strong the pull for her own personal justice became.

In 2013, Kate gave birth to a baby boy, who they named James after her father. The delivery did not go well, and it was determined by the doctors that Kate would never be able to have any more children. While it had saddened them, both Kate and Rick knew that they had been blessed with two amazing children, and were happy enough with that.

It was after James' birth that Kate decided that she needed to leave the NYPD. She still loved the hunt for justice, and she knew that the pull to solve the puzzle would always be there, born as it was from her need for justice for her mother. But she knew that she needed to keep herself and her husband safe, so she tended her resignation to the new captain who had taken over for Montgomery, then (with Rick's help) bought a small bookstore near their new home in Brooklyn.

Kate would always remember her mom and dad. She would always love them, and be grateful for raising her. Their deaths would always affect her, and would always play a part in the woman she was. But it was Rick, and his love for her and hers for him, that shaped her life. It was that love that had conquered all her demons and allowed her to live a life full of laughter and happiness.

xxxx

 **a.n.2. So there's the end. This entire story was rushed, but that was the nature of the style I chose. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, I'll let you judge.**

 **Now. What's next? That's the question isn't it? I had planned (when it looked like Castle was going to get renewed sans Stana), to end my Castle fanfic career. Now, I will likely write some more Castle later this summer (as long as the finale ends somewhat happily). For now, I'm going to bury myself in my HP fics.**

 **Please leave a review, and I'll see you next time.**


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